6 Hour Shift
by nykky
Summary: Sawyer and Ana get stuck with Hatch duty and interesting things happen as a result.
1. Chapter 1

Title: 6 Hour Shift  
Rating: PG-13  
Pairing: Sana  
Summary: Up to "What Kate Did"  
Warnings: Maybe swear words  
Status of fic: Completed  
Author's Notes/Disclaimer:

#Disclaimer#

I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I own any rights to the television show "Lost". They were created by JJ Abrams and Damon Lindelof and they belong to them, Touchstone, and ABC.

Chapter One: Hour One

Ana sat in her makeshift tent, trying to relax like everyone else, without the responsibility of trying to protect and save everyone's life. She closed her eyes enjoying the sun, a simple pleasure that she could have without judgment and regret. If one has to be trapped in helladise, then why not try to make the ambience work to her advantage. She absorbed the last vestiges of heat, trying to warm the coldness that always tried to creep through when she was left with her thoughts too long. Too many bad memories flooded in while she stayed in her self-imposed exile. Unlike her compatriots, she was not free to just blend with the crowd. She had killed one of theirs, and that accident made her different. That and all the other decisions she'd had to make as the so-called leader of the tailies.

Rolling her eyes, she rocked back onto her elbows and stared at the horizon as the sun went down, turning another day into night. It had been a week since their arrival and the woman, Shannon's, funeral. Since that time she had spoken to Jack, even had a couple of drinks with him. Ana respected him a lot more after he came to her without making a bunch of self-pitying speeches. He just said he understood, and from that moment on, she knew she could talk to him if she needed to. She didn't trust him like Eko, but it was a start--well another start with them.

Eko basically went ghost on her, only popping up every so often, usually right at the moment she was ready to walk into the ocean and try her luck with the fish.

They didn't really talk about much, just what he had learned about the island and the chamber that everyone seemed to have access to but her. She didn't envy them. From what Eko told her, people had to sit around for six hours, pushing buttons every two. She really wasn't in a hurry to do that and because of that she never asked Jack too many details about it. She just figured that people's mistrust of her was the reason she hadn't seen the place.

Just as the sun faded into non-existence, she heard a rustling behind her. Turning slowly, she found that the one they call Locke was coming towards her. She kept her face neutral but inwardly wondered why he had approached her at all. She really hoped it wasn't one of those "welcome to the neighborhood" chats. She wasn't in the mood to try and fake a bonding session with anyone-- especially someone as strange as Locke.

She had seen him around whenever she ventured from her space to grab a bite to eat. Compared to everyone else, he seemed to be on a Robinson Crusoe kick, not minding being trapped in a nightmare paradise. She couldn't think of what he could possibly want with her.

"It's your turn."

Ana frowned. "My turn?" What the hell was he talking about?

"Your shift. Everyone has a six hour shift, and now it's your turn."

"Really?" she said, surprised. She would have sworn up and down that she wouldn't get a shift.

Locke nodded, "Yes come on. We need to get back to relieve the others and let you see what you're supposed to do."

Before Ana could protest, Locke had turned walking back through the woods. Ana scrambled to her feet, wanting to catch up with him before he disappeared deeper into the trees. She caught him a moment later and they trudged through the wild area. Eventually, they made it to the door and Locke held it open for her.

Ana let her eyes adjust to the artificial light pumping through the chamber. It was bright enough for a person to see, but dim enough to create a lot of shadows. Their feet echoed through the corridor leading to main sections of the chamber. Ana took in everything she saw, including the various shut doors they passed. She didn't ask too much about them, figuring that if she had to be down in the hole, she would just explore on her own.

They came to the computer room where a couple of people were waiting patiently for Locke to return. They left without comment and Locke turned to her.

"You input the numbers before the time runs out. You can only input the numbers four minutes prior to the next two hours. The numbers are written there by the computer. An alarm will go off if as the countdown gets closer to the end…"

"What happens if you miss the time?" she asked. She had asked Eko but he just shrugged and said he didn't know. She figured since Locke practically lived in the Hatch like a sewer dweller, he would know.

"Something bad," he stated before breezing on. "Anyway, in between the time you are waiting, you are entitled to up to three snacks and one meal," he said, walking to the next room showing her the food supply. "Here's the list. Make sure you write down what you took so we know what we have left."

Ana stared at him like he just lost his mind. Something bad? What kind of vague B.S. is that! But then her mind caught up with her when she heard the magic word.

"Did you say you can shower?" she said shocked.

"Of course you can shower. Everyone indulges in it when they are down here. Just remember that cleaning supplies are in short order, so don't go over board.

"There's a shower? You mean to tell me we could be having real showers around here?" She couldn't believe it. Using the cool water of the ocean left a lot to be desired.

He stared at her a moment before saying, "Not really. It's a luxury one gets during their stay here, like the extra food and such. It's like an incentive to do the shift."

"So where is it?"

Ten minutes later, Locke was gone and she was standing in front of the shower smiling like a kid in a candy store. Putting down the shampoo and placing the towel on a rack next to her, she stripped down. Turning on the water, she waited until the amazing warm water splashed into her hand. Gleeful, she jumped into the water letting it run all her body just for the thrill of the familiar. Grabbing the soap, she slowly cleaned herself.

"God this feels good," she murmured before reaching down for the shampoo washing her hair. She couldn't believe how something as simple as a shower could make her forget the hell that she had been living for the past month and a half. All the horrors, the guilt, the very fact that she was trapped on Misery Island seemed unimportant for just a moment.

But her happiness faded quickly, as she began to think of the reason the shower was so important. The faded memories in the far recess of her mind dripped into her consciousness reminding her again of the deadness, the emptiness she felt in the darkest part of her being.

She'd had to leave town, the world she knew after Jason. How could she face her colleagues, her mother, when she had killed the sorry man that had hurt her so deeply? She knew that they wouldn't find the body, but she was afraid of who she would become around them trying to hide that kind of secret. She already felt dead. And she knew staying in her old world in her old city would just make it worst. So instead of staying, she told all and sundry that she quit and really needed to get away. She knew she made the right decision when the protest from friends and family was all about leaving the country, not about leaving the force. She hadn't planned at first to race off to Sydney but then she remember telling her friends that she wanted to go there and a good friend of hers from high school lived there.

She packed her bags inside of a day, telling her mother she was just going on a vacation. He mother asked her why she was rushing away all of a sudden but Ana couldn't explain it. How could she explain the creeping frost that seemed to be nipping at her heels. No, she needed out and she told her mother that much. The reality was that what she tried to call a vacation slowly converted itself to the truth while waiting at the airport for her flight. She was running. Running from herself and the nightmare that created this dead human staring back at her in the mirror.

Once in Sydney, she did manage to find a certain peace. The totally unfamiliar feel of the land seemed to erase the demons that were chasing her back home. For two solid weeks, she frolicked in the sand with her friend, acting irresponsible in a way she hadn't for months after being shot, her baby dying and Danny leaving her, blaming her for their child's death. She was free to redefine Ana Lucia Cortez.

Then forty-eight days ago it all changed. She had fallen into the pit of hell. The hopelessness returned with the frost, the fear, the void that seemed to choke her heart like a vice until she finally dropped the weapons before a man who had every right to demand vengeance for the death of a loved one. She wanted him to take her away from the hell, the torment of her existence. But one statement, "You're already dead," caused a break in her that she didn't realize that she needed. It was like a nail in her coffin, sealing her into a non-existence that she had been trying to permanently escape since that moment. She saw the myth of her existence, the lies she told herself, the false happiness she created to avoid the truth of the words from a total stranger.

Ana didn't realize that she was shaking under the warm water, or that she was screaming that she wasn't dead until a voice shocked her back to reality.

"If you're dead, you have to be one of the best looking corpses I've ever seen."

"Who the F…" she whipped around to come face to face with Sawyer.

* * *

Sawyer had been living pretty well in the compound. Life was pretty much routine, people came and went, turning off that stupid alarm. Freckles would come by chatting him up, and the good doc would come in reassuring him that his arm wouldn't need to be hacked off. All in all, it was better than sitting on the beach remembering their failed attempt at getting off the island. And things would have been fine, but for a crazy man waking him up telling him that it was time he took a turn.

"Man, can't you see I'm convalescing?"

Locke snorted at him. "Jack says you're fine. It doesn't require you to do anything but get up, type in some numbers, then lay back down. If you just can't seem to do that, you'll have a partner to help you. Make a deal with them to do the typing."

Before Sawyer could protest further, Locke was gone. Thirty minutes later, he heard him talking to someone. He couldn't make out the voices, he just knew that one of them was female. Sighing, he turned to the side. He'd be damned if he got up pushing buttons when no one could explain why the hell it was so important. He let his eyes close, thinking he'd return to the dream he was having about a certain female on the island.

But then he heard shouting. At first he ignored it, thinking he was hearing things, but the sound traveled to him again and he knew that it was real. Getting up slowly, he walked toward the direction of the sound. Immediately, he heard the water running and the most painful wailing sound of guilt coming from a woman. Sawyer hesitated, not wanting to intrude. But he worried that something serious was going to happen or was already happening.

"Locke _would_ leave me with a nut partner," he grumbled, walking further into the area. When he turned the corner he got an eyeful of the woman that had had the audacity to punch him, not once, but twice. The very same woman who had killed Shannon while he was out for the count. Ana Lucia stood in the shower, water running down her golden skin, her back to the door. She was shaking terribly, but he could see the steam from the water so he knew it wasn't from cold water. She said something in Spanish before repeating that she was not dead.

Sawyer felt he should be embarrassed at taking in the body of the curvy woman. He thought to leave. However, what little embarrassment he felt didn't outweigh his need to know why the G.I. Jane was cracking up in the shower. He figured he would rather face her wrath just to stop whatever was eating her up.

"If you're dead, you have to be one of the best-looking corpses I've ever seen."

When she spun around, he made sure to divert his eyes, but it took a lot of effort. He still managed to get an eyeful too. "You'd think by now that being dead, your mouth would finally shut. But instead, you're howling around like somebody from the night of the living dead."

The silence in that moment was deafening. He saw the towel slowly move from the rack where it hung. Two smack sounds on the floor and a shove later, and she was past him with her clothes in her arms, leaving him standing there staring into empty space. He reached out to turn off the water before leaving the shower room.

He found her haphazardly, but fully dressed, standing in the "living room." Her hair was still dripping wet and the clothes clung to the places the towel had missed. Her soulful brown eyes were cool and angry, but Sawyer ignored them, walking instead to a couch in the room, and took a seat.

"So you're my partner?" she asked in a cool voice.

"Looks like it, Chica. Although I had hoped for someone a little more stable."

She faced him fully. "Yeah, well, I wanted someone with some respect, but it seems I got you."

Sawyer snorted. "Whatever. I ain't the one screaming about the obvious fact that I'm not dead, am I?"

Her mouth worked a little before she turned away from him again.

"So that gave you the right to come get a peek?"

"Psst. Look, I just wanted to make sure no one ended up hanging from the rafters in this joint. I don't need these idiots blaming me for something else."

"Ha, I didn't think you were the type to care," she said, turning back to him with slight amusement in her eyes.

He shrugged as much as his injured shoulder would allow. "I don't. But I got a good thing down here, and I ain't quite ready to give it up."

"Lying around pushing buttons all day. Yeah, I bet it was a 'real party over here' in this place." She smiled, relief visible in her body, though Sawyer had no idea what had gripped her so fiercely before, or why the sudden relief.

"Who says I push buttons? I leave that to those other fools that come down here. I just rest my wounded body. You know that already-injured shoulder you step on?"

Ana rolled her eyes as she walked over to the couch. She flopped next to Sawyer, saying, "Yeah, thank your big overzealous, macho mouth for that, hillbilly."

He turned to her. "Me? At first I was trying to help you out, you crazy broad, and you punched me…"

"Help me? Is that where all that protector crap came from? I didn't need your help. Hell, you were half-dead on arrival…"

"My point exactly. Yet you felt the need to try to make it worse…"

"I felt the need to show you your place. I think you're too used to swaggering around like you're tough shit, but we didn't have time for that crap. We had real issues and couldn't have some egotistical rodeo clown from the foothills of some crazy, southern state trying to prove that his scrawny balls are worth something!"

Sawyer had been leaning back on the couch but sat up with a deep frown. "Rodeo Clown! Scrawny balls? As if you've seen a pair of balls in your life. I wouldn't think a sane man would allow you anywhere near them, considering how much to like bustin' them."

She glared at him. "Wait. So because I don't take crap from you or anybody, that makes me gay?"

"No, commando. I don't think any woman would put up with you either. You're the type of chick that likes beating up on men, feeling powerful because you can knock down an already wounded man. Probably got issues with men. Most like you do. But I told ya, hit me again, She-Bitch, like now, and see what happens."

Ana laughed out loud then. "Oh, you bad now? Hmm. I always loved men like you. You're the total gentleman in public, opening doors, holding out the chair, but behind closed doors, won't hesitate to knock a lady out…"

"Since you ain't no lady, you don't count. Hell, if I hadn't seen your tits, I would have guessed otherwise."

Ana jumped up, seething. "Really! I don't recall you trying too hard to look away! How long did you stand there staring at my ass before you finally opened your mouth? Five minutes? Ten? The fact is, I am exactly like you said. I am the best-looking body you've seen, but you aren't used to women not falling stupid for you. All that southern charm and the brain of a hummingbird! Maybe these silly little birds around here found that bull flyin' out your mouth appealing, but I think it is what it is. CRAP!"

Sawyer chuckled inwardly. The girl had fire. He loved the way her chest heaved as she stormed at him. He took a good look at her face, watching those full lips form every word in slow motion in his mind's eye. When she finished speaking, she turned on her heels, butt in his face, and did something that shocked and amused him at the same time.

SMACK! Ana slapped her butt. "You can kiss this, pendejo!"

Sawyer barked out a laugh, "I would, but you would like it too much. Besides, I don't have half a year to give away like that!"

She glanced over her shoulder, eyebrow raised, before going into the other room. Sawyer felt slightly disappointed that she left without firing a comeback. "Well, that was interesting. Went from screaming like a— "

"Like a what?" she said, leaning on the archway wall. Her face was calm, and strangely cool, considering her animated behavior before.

"Like a loon." He replied, waiting.

They stared at each other, assessing what to do or say next. Then Ana spoke.

"Don't worry about it. It won't happen again."

"I hope not. I heard the last time you cracked up, someone ended up dead." It came out before he thought about it.

She froze, then slowly walked over to him. Her face was cold, her lips tight, eyes dead.

"Let's hope you don't cause me to crack, Jimbo," she whispered in the deadliest voice he had ever heard.

At that moment he was frightened of the woman, though he would be loath to admit it. He thought he would have to sleep with one eye open until he saw the pain on her face for a split second before the cold shell returned. She stood, then stiffly walked away. He heard her say something in Spanish and he knew it was a very bad description of him.

Right at that moment, Kate walked past Ana. She mumbled a greeting that was ignored by the other woman. A frown covered her pretty face as she walked over to him.

"What's her problem? You okay?" Kate asked.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Ana found a cup and got herself a long drink of water. The shaking had returned, as well as the ice in her veins. Taking calming deep breaths, she tried to fight the urged to slam things around. She was also fighting the urge to run out of the hatch and into the water to join the ones that didn't make it to the island. She just wanted peace from herself and her nightmare. And for a moment, she thought she had found it.

She was never so happy as she had been when Sawyer shocked her out her breakdown. But she didn't show it. A split second later she realized where she was and how exposed she was. She might have blushed, but the Southerner was already beet red. If she had commented on it later, he would have sworn up and down that it was from fever, not embarrassment. As he spoke to her, she had felt that he was distinctly uncomfortable, but not because of her nakedness. Something else was bothering him. But she didn't stay to find out.

By the time he followed into the other room, she was dressed and thoroughly annoyed about the free show she had given him. She could hear it now. Everyone on the island already thought she was crazy; her slight breakdown in front of the con-man would probably make it worst. However, they fell into a nice, little pissing contest that made her feel better with every passing second. She knew that he wouldn't understand her need to forget, to block out all the pain and cold that was taking her more and more frequently lately. She liked the fact that he left well-enough alone, not asking her business, but unconsciously drawing her away from her terrible thoughts and feelings.

After he insulted her ability to seem female, she was truly enjoying herself. She had gotten a vibe about Sawyer the first time she saw him. He reminded her of some of the guys she had worked with at the station. They were full of crap, could play the dozens better than anyone she knew, and although some were soft under all that hot air, many weren't. But they still weren't bad people; they were just real. She knew that most of the steam was pretense, but it was fun because they got to the point rather quickly, instead of playing that polite society crap all the time. Sawyer had jokes. He was funny, brave, probably in a stupid way, a fighter, and more importantly, not hard on the eyes. She liked that he didn't respect her authority at first, because it meant that she could leave him, but finally, because it meant that he would be objective in a different way than Eko. He would tell her like it was, and she appreciated that more than he would ever know.

But what she really liked was that he didn't walk on eggshells around her. He didn't give a good darn if she lived or died, whether what he said hurt her feelings. Ana needed that more than anything, and only a few people gave her that normalcy.

Yet there was one truth she couldn't handle, and he had said it. He called her crazy. In an instant, ice sloshed through her veins, sound disappeared, and she was in the woods, smoking gun in hand, then dropping the weapons before the sad man waiting to be taken out of her misery. When she threatened Sawyer, she heard her own voice, the dare that he would make her crack and have to defend himself. Maybe then she would find peace when he kept his promise. _I'm not dead…I'm not dead…I'm not dead_. The statement blared in her head like a siren. She needed to escape it. Ana needed to run from it, but how could she run from herself? So instead she left him where he sat and walked back to get a drink, barely noticing the other woman who had come. She was probably there to make sure Ana didn't kill another of the 'tribe.'

Thirty minutes and two hundred deep breaths passed before she ventured into the room where she had left Sawyer. She felt calmer, the frigidness gone from her once again. The pain festering in the deep recesses of her mind was waiting to become severe mental illness. She found that Sawyer was no longer holding down the couch. He was probably in the back room. She vaguely remembered hearing the woman fuss over him, mumbling that he needed to get rest. Knowing Sawyer, he was eating it up. That Kate chick had more than one guy's undies in a bunch. Ana had seen the way Jack looked at Kate. She understood why he asked her about crazy women that evening at the beach. It seemed that he had some feelings for the woman, but Ana didn't know how strong or for how long.

When she entered the room with the bunks, she found Sawyer stretched out, smiling, with dimples in full force. Kate was sitting next to him, laughing at something he had said. Ana watched them a full minute before interrupting.

"So I take it you are going to push the button first?"

Sawyer and Kate glanced at her. Kate studied Ana a second before turning to Sawyer, who was frowning.

"You take it wrong, Chica. You got it. As you can see, I'm busy…"

"No, you're not. You take first shift." She turned on her heels.

"You take it. I ain't movin'."

Ana shrugged. "Then I guess we'll find out what happens when the numbers hit zero." She kept walking, leaving Sawyer to shout, "Yeah, we'll see!"

Kate stared at Ana's retreating form. Something flashed in her eyes and she stood up.

"Sawyer, I better go…"

"Naw, Freckles. Stay a little longer, Sugar. Don't let her bother you none."

Kate shrugged. "She doesn't bother me. It's just that I told J...uh, them that I would be back by now."

Sawyer heard the slip, but said only, "What are you doing?" _Who are you doing?_ He thought snidely.

"Nothing much. But I did tell Claire that I would help her with Aaron and …"

_Wonk, wonk, wonk, wonk, wonk, wonk_ was what Sawyer heard. It's what he always heard when she was deliberately being evasive. He watched her back halfway out the room before he started paying attention to her words.

"Don't let the numbers hit zero, Sawyer. I mean I know she might be off, but you aren't, and we can't afford anymore unknowns around here."

Sawyer rolled his eyes. "Yeah, right. What the hell is so important about them buttons?"

Kate shrugged and turned. "I don't know, but right now, I'd rather not find out. See ya later." She disappeared through the arch, leaving an irritated Sawyer. Just when things were starting to get interesting with Kate, something always held her back. He knew it wasn't Ana, but looking at Ana reminded Kate of something, and she left like something was on fire.

Ana watched the woman zip out. She almost tripped Kate because she heard what Kate had said about her. Letting it go, she sat on one of the stools and relaxed. She had found her equilibrium again and she wasn't about to spoil it. She studied the room, trying to find something to do, when her eye caught something on the shelf behind some dusty books. She walked over to the shelf and pushed aside the books. Finding a deck of cards, she pulled them out with a slight smile. She blew the dust off and turned. She walked back to the room and placed the cards on the table before dragging a chair closer to it. She had just settled when she heard Sawyer come into the room. She felt his eyes on her as she opened the box. She removed the jokers and shuffled before looking up staring back at him. Sawyer left the doorway and brought a chair to the table. He sat down to watch her before saying, "You have a way of making people's lives miserable."

She didn't say a thing, instead dealing out a hand. Five cards landed in front of them both. He stared at her like she had lost her mind, but slowly picked up his hand.

"What we playin', Xena?"

"Five card draw. Know it?"

He nodded. "Anything wild?"

"No."

They played a couple of hands with minimal conversation. Sawyer won them both, with a big smirk on his face. Ana just shuffled and continued to deal out cards. She wasn't quite ready to speak to the man across from her. She was still smarting from what he had said to her and she figured that if she could contain her need to call him every derogatory name under the sun, that was good enough.

Sawyer dropped two cards. Two more flew in his direction, and he studied his hand. This time he had crap, but what the heck? Maybe she did too. He waited for her, studying her face. He already knew he liked her looks, especially when she wasn't looking like she was fit to kill. Her smile was pretty sexy, just because it held the promise of so many interesting possibilities. Yet, he noticed that though she was a lot calmer, she was making a conscious effort to not look at him. He wondered about it until he remembered what he had said to her. Sawyer thought a moment before tossing his cards on the table. Ana looked up at him, then frowned.

"What gives?"

"I fold."

"Fine," she said, collecting the cards.

Sawyer leaned back into his seat. "So, you plan on explaining that little comment?"

Ana stared at him like he had grown a third head. "What comment?"

"About not pushing the button?"

She rolled her eyes. "There's nothing to explain. I ain't pushing the button this time. I'll go next then…"

"Then I'll end up pushing that damn thing twice. Naw, that's alright. You do it…"

"Well, considering you're not 'busy' now, what's keeping you from doing it?"

"The same thing that keeps you from doing it. I don't intend to, especially twice."

"What's the big deal? You live down here. It's not an inconvenience for you to do it…"

"It's not a inconvenience for you either."

Ana sat for a moment before dealing the cards again. "Look." She picked up her cards and studied them before continuing. "Your girlfriend has run off, so…"

"Yeah, cause of you, party crasher…"

Ana snorted. "What is it about this woman? Guys all over this island sniffing behind her like she's in heat."

Sawyer's eyes got narrow. "What's that mean?"

Ana stared at him, "Don't pretend that you don't know. You, Jack, and a few other guys whose names I don't know all sweatin' the same chick, and from what it looks like, she got all ya'll wrapped around her finger so tight that for a smidgen of her time you would probably fight like the Thunderdome for it."

Sawyer saw the jealous glint in her eyes. Picking up his cards, he studied them a moment before throwing out three. "So I take it that there have been no takers for the kind lovin' you offerin'?"

"Please. I'm not offering anything…as you so eloquently said, I'm a loon. Who wants to be around someone who can crack at any moment?" She slammed her cards back onto the table. "Fold."

Sawyer laid his cards down. When Ana went to collect them, he covered her hand with his own.

"What happened out there?" he asked softly.

Ana snatched her hand back. She glared at him briefly, before shuffling furiously. Then she tossed the cards in his direction, not really caring where they landed.

He snorted. "Must have hit a nerve."

Ana glared up from her cards, noticing that he was shaking his head. "What the hell do you care? You know the answer, remember? I cracked up. That's why she got shot! God forbid I was trying to protect what was left of the people that came on that trip. Let's forget that the Other's had just snatched up Cindy while we were hauling your heavy ass up a hill that we wouldn't have had to climb except that it would get your dying ass back to your people faster. No one wants to hear that the Others were all around us, whispering like the freaks they are, throwing us off. Or the fact that I didn't see anything but a blur coming for us. I just killed the girl because Ana is crazy, and didn't have anything better to do. Forget the fact that I offered that chick's boyfriend a chance to have his revenge. But instead of taking it he called me a walking corpse." She tossed four cards picking up four from the deck before throwing them out. " Nope. I just shot some girl in cold blood and that sums it up. Fold."

Sawyer watched her rant with a cool distance. When she finished, she leaned back into the chair with such heavy exhaustion that he thought she would pass out. He could see the weight of the world on her shoulders, burdening her beyond the Shannon shooting. Something else was tearing her up inside--he could tell because he felt that same exhaustion when he was alone with his thoughts, especially about Frank Sawyer.

He didn't ask though, just processing the answer. Finally, he smiled.

"Well, accidents happen, chica, and I, for one, appreciate you getting me back to this wonderful slice of paradise."

She frowned at him before sitting up straight.

"You can't be that fked up? She died."

Sawyer calmly collected the cards with his good arm and stacked them neatly, before looking at her seriously.

"Yeah. She did. But it was an accident, or else I doubt that the Sayid or the good Doctor, for that matter, would have you walking around here all free and clear."

She examined his cool expression. She didn't understand him, or the whole point of the conversation, until she saw guilt flint through his eyes. She blinked, thinking she didn't see it, but it was gone as quick as it appeared.

Sawyer knew what she was trying to do, but there was no way he was going to share his dirty little secrets with her. He had learned a long time ago that people couldn't gain power over you if they don't ever about the skeletons. It was bad enough that Kate had the ability to twist him up. He didn't need another woman doing that. Besides he just wanted to find out from her what everyone on the island knew. He wasn't trying to get anything more, at least not yet.

"Deal," he said.

Ana slowly picked up the deck. She shuffled, then kept a curious eye on him while she breathed a sigh of relief. It was liberating to finally snap out the anger and pain of the shooting. What she found more surprising was that she didn't feel cold from being reminded of it. In fact, Sawyer's statement of it being accidental did more for her than anything said or told to her this week. But she felt exposed, naked before him, and she wasn't about to have that.

"Fine, but if I win this hand you have to answer my question, and no bull either. You game?"

Sawyer looked wary. He wasn't about to start playing Dr. Freud over cards with this woman.

"What do I get if I win?"

She shrugged. "Same thing, but what is said here stays here. No loose lips."

He weighed her statements. A strong part of him was telling him to leave it alone, but a growing part of him was curious.

"Deal."

Ana dealt. They both picked up their hands. Sawyer had an ace and a queen of the same suit, and three worthless cards. He tossed three and ended up with another queen, a two of hearts and a four of diamonds. It wasn't the best hand, but he had won with worst.

"So what you got there?"

Ana smiled. "What you got?"

"No. You go first. You made the bet, let's see if you can win."

"Fine," she said. She laid down her hand revealing two pair. "Well?"

Sawyer tossed his hand. "Ask away, Warrior Princess."

She leaned back, arms crossed. "What the hell is so special about Kate?"

Sawyer laughed, partly in relief. He thought she was going to delve into his past. But looking at her, he knew that she had deliberately let him off easy. Appreciating that, he gave her an honest answer.

"She's hot. She's pretty funny, tough as nails, resourceful, and did I say she was hot. I've been trying to have a little something with her. Why not, if we are going to be stuck on this island? But I got competition."

"Jack."

He noticed the soft way she said his name. _So she has a thing for Doctor Jekyll._

"Yeah, him. She's been playing between us both."

Ana shook her head. "Why do you let her do that?"

"I don't let her do anything. I can't make her choose what she wants…"

"But you could choose to tell her to screw off and stop playing games."

"And let Jack have her? Hell naw. I got just as much right to want to be with a beautiful woman on this island. Hell, I know I look good and I'm just as smart…"

"Tssk. Okaaay," she said.

"What's so special about Jack?" Sawyer asked, irritated.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" she said with an easy smile. She gathered up the cards and began shuffling them again.

"Yeah. I'd like to know."

Ana smiled to herself and swiftly dealt out more cards. She picked up her hand, much to Sawyer's irritation. He tossed two and she tossed three. Both got their new cards and Sawyer tossed his hand down, showing three Jacks, ten high.

Ana frowned and revealed nothing but a hodgepodge of cards, the highest being a king.

"Well," said Sawyer.

Ana thought to play dumb. But seeing Sawyer's apparent frustration, she told him.

"Jack is sure of himself without being cocky. He is a thinker, he is smart, he gives a damn about people, and more importantly, he treats women with respect. But I can only tell you what I like about him. You have to ask that girl of yours what she likes, but only if you can get her attention away from him."

"Right. I bet you'd like that. Have Jack all to yourself."

"What!" Ana laughed nervously. "Please. He can do whatever he wants."

"That's not the point, Xena. You want him to do whatever he wants with you."

"I could say the same for you as far as Kate is concerned."

He was just about to answer when the alarm went off.

They both jumped slightly, then tried to pretend that they hadn't. They stared at each other, waiting to see who would move first to stop the countdown. As the blaring continued, Sawyer realized that a game of chicken wasn't going to benefit those on the island. Ana must have realized it too, because she shuffled the cards again.

"A quick game. Whoever has the best hand turns off the alarm." She dealt the cards.

Before looking at his hand Sawyer said, "Let's sweeten the deal. Whoever wins has to turn it off all three times."

Ana paused for a second, then nodded. They looked at their respective hands. Sawyer tossed two and Ana three. They got their new cards, rearranged their hands, then looked at each other.

"Okay, Rambina, what you got?"

"Why don't we drop at the same time, Cowboy? Then no one can then claim cheat."

"Fine."

Three seconds later, the cards dropped and Ana was gritting her teeth. She jumped up and ran to the other room. Once she was gone Sawyer took the three of clubs he had palmed and slipped it into the deck, smiling down at the ace he had snuck earlier. That gave him the current winning hand of a pair of aces to Ana's pair of tens.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Sawyer had headed back to the bunks to 'rest,' now that he was out of having to push the buttons. Ana knew that the jerk had cheated, but she was grateful for what he had unwittingly done for her. He had given her some relief from her pain. Telling him part of what was burdening her provided the relief that she didn't get from telling Jack. Maybe it was because she was still too close to it, or maybe it was what Sawyer had said, that maybe the others realized that it was an accident.

She sat on the couch, wondering about her interaction with Sawyer. He was really different from everyone else in the group. She knew he probably wasn't well-loved by everyone. She didn't have much love for him either, his cavalier way with his friend's life, his selfishness, and his apparent ego, all made for a man that usually wasn't worth her time.

Yet, as she thought about what had happened earlier, he reminded her of those guys she had worked with on the force. Some were just as ignorant as Sawyer, but in the end, they were decent human beings. She knew that Sawyer had secrets like everyone else, but she remembered the guilt that flinted across his eyes when he told her it was an accident. It seemed that he was speaking more for himself than her. She understood that he was trying to make up for the callous remark about the woman's death.

_Shannon, dammit. Say her name,_ she reminded herself. She had avoided Shannon's name like the bubonic plague, but she knew she would have to acknowledge Shannon's personhood. Avoiding Shannon's name was not doing anything to help her heal and understand the guilt she felt about the shooting. She could not fear it because she needed to finally face it and deal with it. Being able to say Shannon's name meant recognizing what she had done and who she took from everyone.

Sighing, she leaned back into her seat, thinking about herself. Since she had gotten into the hatch, she had gone from happiness to serious depression to mildly entertained, all in a span of two hours. All because of one man. She had to admit that she liked talking to Sawyer. He gave her a focal point for releasing her tension. And if she told herself the truth, she did find him sexy. His gravelly voice, deep and cool, like a smooth jazz musician, the sure way he carried himself. It was very appealing. He was a breath of fresh air when she felt like she'd been suffocating.

She laughed to herself, remembering how his face had screwed up at the comparison to Jack. The fact that those two were fighting it out to become the alpha male came as no surprise to her. Jack was a natural leader and Sawyer, the rebel-without-a-cause maverick. Both had a lot of qualities that would appeal to women. Jack probably was the one people flocked to because he was a doctor and a lot more straight-forward than Sawyer, who had shady written all over his face.

Sawyer hated being compared to Jack because he knew he'd never measure up. But Ana liked people for being real. Even when she was a cop, before the shooting, she had known criminals who had more honor than some of the people on the force. Some people just liked playing on the edge. And though she couldn't abide by their behavior, she had plenty of homeboys on the street that would back her up if she ever called on them. Hell, she didn't have to shoot that bastard who stole so much from her. She could name five or six guys who would fight for the chance to do it for her. Sawyer was like one of those guys. If you gained his trust, there probably wasn't much he wouldn't do for you.

Ana liked Sawyer. Maybe they could be friends, or at the very least, if she had to do button-babysitting duty, she would prefer to do it with him over anyone else. That was funny since she liked Jack, too. But as much as she would enjoy Jack's company, it wouldn't be the same. She mentally shrugged. Maybe it would be the same, but right now, she wanted to be with Sawyer.

Ana stood and walked out. When she got to the bunks, she found Sawyer knocked out on his bed. Watching him sleep, she realized that he was still sick from the infection in his arm. She hadn't noticed it before, probably because he was making a great effort to hide it, or she was too lost in her own problems to care. But he still had a waxy appearance, his breathing was heavy and the sweat was more prominent on his face and exposed chest.

She turned, walking to the makeshift kitchen. Grabbing a cloth she found there, she ran cool water over it and a glass of cool water. She took both back to the bunks. She placed the water on the shelf to her right and laid the cloth over his forehead.

He woke slightly. "Hey, Chica, what ya doin'?"

"Just being nice." She reached for the glass and handed to him.

Sawyer stared at her warily but took the glass, catching the cloth with his other hand as it slipped from his forehead. He drank deeply and handed the empty glass back to her. She took it without comment.

"Rest up, Billy Bob." She turned and walked away from him.

"Thanks, Ana," he whispered.

She turned back in surprise, but he was asleep again. Smiling, she turned for the living room.

Sawyer felt completely exhausted. Though he had healed and the fever was down, he knew that he was far from being completely over his infection. He still felt tired and nauseated sometimes. He had gone to his bunk for a quick nap.

Once his head hit the pillow, his eyes closed, but sleep was elusive. He kept thinking about the woman sitting down in the hatch. Ana Lucia was a strange one indeed. She had her share of problems but even he would admit that she was a strong leader and did what was necessary to protect those around her. Though he initially hated the girl, he found he liked that she was truly unimpressed by him. She was funny and straight-up honest. She wasn't trying to con him, but she was nobody's fool. She could read him like a book and it had been awhile since he laughed as much as he had with her.

Sayid told her she was already dead. Sawyer wondered why. It was on the tip of his tongue to ask, but he saw what talking about Shannon did to the woman's soul. Whatever happened in her past and since crashing on the island, Shannon's shooting was the straw that broke the camel's back. Ana was fighting herself, although he was willing to bet anything that nobody realized the depths of this woman's pain. She only let him get a glimpse of it. It shocked him because he didn't think she thought enough of him to share anything like that.

The discussion about Kate and Jack gave him even more insight into the woman. It was obvious that she liked Jack, but she wasn't going to play the two-step with him and Kate. He knew that she was the type of woman that would be honest with whomever she digs. Or if she was confused, she would speak on it and not run back and forth using them to satisfy whatever need she has at a given moment.

As much as Sawyer liked Freckles, he found himself drawn to Ana. The G.I. Jane was too refreshing. Whatever they were starting down in the hatch, and at the moment he wasn't sure what it was, he knew that it was honest. He didn't have to worry about getting played for a fool by her. He didn't have to walk on eggshells with her. She could take what he dished out and he missed having someone around who could take it as well as give it, like he could.

A faint smile formed on his lips. He remembered her smacking her ass. He loved watching it moved in the jeans. She had spoken the truth--he did like her body. It was fit and strong, yet curvy and soft in all the right places. He wondered what it would be like to have her full lips on his while his hands ran over her skin, caressing her neck and back, her chest resting against his, the heat between them rising as her hands slid down his chest…

His eyes flew open. He found the object of his dream laying a cool cloth on his forehead.

"What's up, Chica?"

"Just being nice," she had responded softly. She reached for the water as Sawyer tried to determine whether his imagination was playing tricks on him.

When she offered him the glass of water, he stared at it as if it might disappear, until he took and realized he truly wasn't dreaming. After a drink, he laid back down, going back to sleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. He remembered whispering her name before he did, and seeing her soft, warm smile.

_Damn, what is going on with me_?


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Sawyer woke again with a start. He blinked a few times, then sat up. He rubbed his neck and tried to shift, then felt that he had become a little too excited while he slept. He heard Ana coming and quickly covered himself with his pillow.

Ana appeared in the doorway with a funny smile on her face.

"Sleeping beauty awakes."

"How long I've been out?"

"About an hour and a half. Come on. I'm about to get something to eat."

"Oh, really? You cooked for me. That's so sweet. I thought there was more to you than your big mouth."

Ana walked out, saying over her shoulder, "Put a sock in it, Billy the Kid. I didn't cook for you. I just want a trained parrot sitting across from me to talk to. I'm bored."

Sawyer waited until she was gone to get himself together. Once he felt that he had calmed himself sufficiently, he walked out to the living area where he found Ana sitting at the table, eating a meal. And true to her word, she had nothing for him.

"What's wrong with women today? Used to be a sick man could count on some good home-cooking from a woman. Now he's left to fend for himself."

"The man has to be worth something for a woman go around bustin' her butt to feed him," she said, taking a forkful of spaghetti.

Sawyer stopped mid-stride. "You not trying to say I ain't worth a woman's time, Xena?"

"I don't see any clamoring for your attention," she said, looking up from her food, batting her eyes.

Sawyer walked over to the table and leaned down. "No one clamoring for yours either, so I guess you ain't worth much either."

They stared at each other intensely for a moment before she laughed. "Maybe because they can't handle a woman who isn't about to fall to her knees, mouth open, ready to serve. For me it has to be the other way around."

"Nothing like a selfish woman, especially one who doesn't know her role."

"My role?"

Sawyer took a seat. "Yeah, your role. To serve The Sawyer in any way he sees fit. And right now, I see fit for you to get me something to eat."

Ana took a few more bites of her food, then asked, "If I don't?"

"Then I'll have no option but to punish you."

Ana did a fake pout. "Really, big daddy? I don't think you have the ability to punish a fly, let alone a woman. Save those silly comments for that girl Kate you're chasing."

Sawyer nodded. "Yeah, maybe I will. I mean, Kate is a real woman. The only kind of man that could deal with you is Jack. He had his balls taken from him a long time ago."

Ana fell out laughing then. When she calmed, she said with a giggle in her voice, "Yeah, your girl Kate would rather play with what little is left of his, than spend one minute trying find yours."

Sawyer laughed himself, shaking his head. "Right. And that just chaps your ass, doesn't it? Because you know those type of girls always upstage you in the end. Kate understands the game, the rules. A man has to feel like a man, like he has some use or it just ain't gonna work."

"I see. And somehow I can't get a man because I ain't gonna to cater to his every need and whim. Rather, I can't have real man."

"Yep."

"Well I guess I'll be all alone. I can't have a man who doesn't believe in me having opinions, or wants to be treated like a child. I want a man who likes a strong woman who will have his back when he needs it, and will take care of him because she knows he'll take care of her, who doesn't want a woman to act like a servant." She scooped up more spaghetti and shoved it in her mouth with a smug smile.

Sawyer reached over and wiped the sauce off of Ana's chin. He touched her face with such gentleness that she didn't know how to feel and she stopped chewing. She swallowed hard, mumbling thanks. Sawyer smirked at the effect he had on her, but it faded into astonishment when she told him, "Spaghetti on the counter over there, " hitching a thumb over her shoulder.

Sawyer's eye followed the direction of the thumb, and indeed found the spaghetti there. He glanced back at her.

"I thought you don't serve a man that ain't served you first?"

She just kept eating, smiling into her plate.

Sawyer got up and retrieved his meal. He brought it back to the table and began wolfing down his food. Ana stared at him in disgust before returning to her own meal. They ate in a comfortable silence, enjoying the slice of normalcy that the spaghetti provided. It was a reminder of what had been lost.

They were almost finished before Ana felt the need to speak.

"I was raised that you didn't come to the table looking like soap hasn't touched you in a decade."

Sawyer choked slightly. Swallowing with a shake of his head, he said, "What you tryin' to say, Chica. I'm unclean?"

"You're looking a little sweaty there, Sawyer," she said in a serious voice.

"I knew you liked looking at me. You didn't think I noticed you sneaking looks, watching me sleep. But I didn't know you cared like that."

Ana stared at him. She wanted to slap the smile off his face but instead said, "The only reason I looked at you was to try and figure out the best way to throw water on you to wash away the maximum amount of dirt. Otherwise, I never would have glanced in your direction."

Sawyer sucked his teeth. "I see. Well if you didn't notice, I happen to have an arm that I can't use as effectively as I would like."

"What? Lady Kate is too good to help you out? I thought she understood how to take care of man, or is she too busy takin' care of someone else to help you?"

Annoyance flashed through Sawyer's eyes and Ana laughed inwardly. She loved how his face hardened when he thought about Kate with someone else. Yet, a small part of her wished she could have that same effect on him. It would be nice to have someone interested in her for a reason besides leading folks or pumping her for info about the others.

"No. I was too sick to move, you know from that infection I got, probably brought on from the dirt stuffed into it when a certain Commando Witch stepped on it."

"Who me?" She pointed at herself, smiling.

Sawyer smiled again. "Yeah, you."

"Oops. I guess that was mean of me," she said in a high-pitched girly voice. "But I declare, that isn't a good excuse, considering you are well enough to feed your pie hole."

"Well considering that it takes no effort to lift a fork, I don't see why I can't eat. But since you were the cause of this problem--"

"What!"

"I propose that you pay penance by bathing me," he said in a sly, smooth voice.

She made her eyes wide. "Oh well, I never," she said, feigning haughtiness. She walked behind him and leaned down to his ear. In a sexy voice she offered, "But I'll wash your hair if you push the buttons." She then left Sawyer.

He could still feel her warm breath on his neck. It sent a warmth to the pit of his stomach and more. He watched her butt sway back and forth as she walked away, until she looked over her shoulder.

"What'll it be Cowboy? Getting pampered by GI Jane, or waiting for the prom queen to come clean you up?"

Ana was just heading to the showers when the alarm went off again.

Ana had found the spaghetti in storage and debated whether to make enough for Sawyer. After a few minutes of thinking how about how he wouldn't do it for her, she grabbed two cans anyway and made the meal. When she went to tell him, she saw him cover his lap to hide his obvious arousal. She wanted to call him on it, but she let it go, instead inviting him to eat.

While he slept, she was nagged by her memories. The momentary relief Sawyer gave her started to fade and she felt the frost coming back. Her mind screamed at what she could do to stop it. She didn't understand why she felt like this, or what was creating the effect. All she knew was that it was back and she needed freedom from it.

Dinner with Sawyer did that, although the whole time, she was hiding the fact that she was shaking like a leaf. She was cold in a warm building, on an island for God's sake. And what was starting to really intrigue and frighten her at the same time, was that she hadn't felt anything until Sawyer touched her. It was a butterfly effect. All the tension she had been hiding was replaced by heat surging through her body. She felt alive, like she mattered, validated. She couldn't believe that he could do that for her, but then she remembered that Eko had that same effect, and even Jack did to a certain extent. Contact with the human race she understood, kept her demons at bay.

When she commented about Sawyer's state of cleanliness, she was only half joking. He didn't smell, but his hair was just a greasy mess. She knew that he bathed because she smelled the soap on him. But he probably couldn't wash his hair the way he needed. For a moment, she wanted to do something nice for the man besides making a meal for him. That had just been common courtesy. But washing his hair would say, "Yeah, it was foul to smash your already-messed-up shoulder with my boot." Of course, he would have to pay a small price for that service. But pushing the buttons was a small price to pay to get pampered. It also benefited her. She would have some company and could further understand why she couldn't rid herself of the frost that followed.

She entered the shower area wondering if she would have to run back and turn off the alarm. But the blaring stopped and she knew that he had taken her up on her offer. She looked around at the place where it had all begun. She felt a chill run through her as she stepped into the room, removing her vest.

"I can't believe I'm doing this."

Sawyer walked towards the shower room wondering what was behind the sharp-tongued woman's offer. He had wanted to wash his hair properly for three days, but raising his arm still shot pains through his arm and shoulder. He had planned to get Kate to help him, but the opportunity to have the hellcat take care of it was to good to pass up. So he entered the numbers and made his way to the showers.

He found her standing in the middle of the room, staring out into space. She wasn't freaking out, but she wasn't really pay attention to anything around her either. He watched her, waiting to see if she would snap, but she did nothing. Curious, he walked in the room. Only then did she glance over her shoulder to reveal a faint smile.

"So I guess we'll use the sink." She turned from him, but Sawyer could have sworn he saw her shiver.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Sawyer was much too tall to bend over a sink to let Ana wash his hair. He complained to beat the band about it.

"This is way too awkward! I'm getting spasms in my back, my shoulder is killing me, and I won't even begin with how my neck feels like it's 'bout to pop right out of it's socket."

"I've known old folks who don't complain as much as you do. Look I can't reach your head and the water unless you bend over."

Sawyer stood water running down his face and neck. "Hell, if I knew I had to suffer this much, I would have passed. There has to be a better way to do this."

Rolling her eyes, she said, "Okay, big baby, wait here." Ana disappeared, leaving him to drip and wait for her return. She came back with a chair that she dropped by the sink.

She pointed to it and Sawyer sat down. She then used the cup she brought with her and put it under the faucet. She was about to pour the water when she realized that he still wore his shirt.

"You need to a least hold your head over the sink so that I can pour this water over your head."

Sawyer stared at her, but slowly stood up. He bent down and let her wet his hair thoroughly. She then let him sit while she loaded his hair with shampoo and lathered up.

Sawyer sighed with relief when he finally got to untwist his body and take a seat. His shoulder was stinging from the pressure he had placed on it. But the pain soon faded as Ana gently massaged his head. He didn't think the tough girl could be so delicate, but she treated his hair with loving care that surprised him.

Ana ran her fingers through his hair, stopping only to massage his head. She could tell that Sawyer was enjoying himself immensely. She saw his broad shoulders relax as he slid down in his seat.

"You're really good at this, Xena."

"I guess," was her only comment.

They remained in a comfortable silence as she cleaned his hair. Both are lost in their thoughts of the usual friendship that seemed to be taking place between the two of them. They both realized that they were becoming quite fond of each other. Neither knew much about the other, but that was okay. They could talk to each other and that, if nothing else, they could get some much needed tension released.

Sawyer would be fine not knowing everything about Ana because he had no intention of sharing everything about himself with anyone. But he needed to know one thing about her if he was going to keep talking to her.

"Do you honestly think you're dead?"

Ana froze. She hadn't expected the question, especially not from him. He had avoided asking her that since he stopped her from berating herself. She figured that it was old news, that he would leave well-enough alone.

"It doesn't matter," she replied. She went back to focusing on his hair, but she felt the numbness come.

"It matters to you," he said.

"That's right, to me, not to you, so forget it, okay?" She went for the cup. But Sawyer grabbed her wrist.

"Ana. What is eating you up so much that you are a walking time bomb wanting to snap? I wasn't kidding about hanging from the rafters. You're off, girl, and I just want to know what could break someone like you."

She faced him. "Like me? What's so special about me, Sawyer? I'm like everyone on this island. I have demons, I'm trapped in hell. What makes me different?"

"Your demons are eating you alive, that's what. I've only spoken to you since you've been down here, but I know it's more than what's happened on this island that's tearing you apart."

She pulled from him. Ripping on the faucet, she filled the cup with water.

"Stand up. Let me rinse out your hair."

"Stop evading, Chica. Tell me what's the…"

The water hit him dead in his face. Sawyer blew his breath out but another wave of water hit him in his face. Shaking his head, he blinked his eyes open and glared.

There was a funny smile on her face as she watched Sawyer slowly stand.

"My demons are off limits."

Sawyer almost growled. He was drenched. Slowly, he removed his wet shirt, causing. Ana's eyebrow to arch.

_Man, he has nice body,_ she thought, as his shirt hit the floor. Slowly, he approached her. Ana held her ground until he was inches from her face, forcing her to crane her neck.

"What cha go and do that for?" he said in a deadly whisper.

Ana rested her hand on the edge of the sink and leaned to the side.

"Maybe you'll learn to mind your business," she said.

They faced-off waiting. Sawyer reached forward and in a quick move, lifted Ana off the ground. Though it sent a sharp pain in his arm, he took the wiggling woman to the showers and dumped her before turning on the water.

Ana gasped in shock that Sawyer was able to pick her up with his wounded arm. But in a swoosh she was up in the air, body pressed against his muscular frame. She heard him grunt and she tried to wiggle out of it but couldn't. Before she could say a word, she was splashed with fast springing water.

"You ass-backward, redneck!" she screamed before taking the cup she had in her hand, filling it with water and throwing it at him.

Sawyer ducked, but not enough to avoid all the water. It hit him low, wetting part of the front and the side of his jeans. He came back at her just as she was filling the cup again, but he grabbed her hand and forced her to hit herself with the water. She pulled him under the spray, getting him just as wet as she was.

They splashed each other for five minutes, passing insults back and forth until they both started laughing like hyenas. The laughter died down, and Ana and Sawyer stood under the water, holding each other, bodies touching. They stared at each other, an electric attraction flying between them. They were close enough to start something, but Sawyer let go and Ana cleared her throat.

"You know what? At least you are cleaner than you were before," Ana said turning off the water.

Sawyer snorted, stepping out of the shower. He looked at Ana, who had just pulled off her tank, leaving her in a bra. He watched her wring out her shirt. Then she wriggled out of her pants. It was then that he noticed the faint scars on her lower abdomen. They took his focus away from watching her strip.

Ana felt his eyes on her stomach. Her face saddened as she looked up at him.

"What happened?"

"It's the reason I feel dead," she whispered, walking past him.

In the living room, Ana was sitting on the couch with legs drawn up to her chin. Sawyer came in, shirtless, pants hanging low on his waist. Though the jeans were wet, he didn't bother taking them off. He went to a chair and dragged it in front of Ana. He turned the chair around and sat in it backwards, arms resting on top on the chair back.

"Wanna talk about it?"

Ana's eyes opened to stare at Sawyer, noting the concern in his. What she really wanted was for him to go away, but he didn't. And for the moment, she didn't feel like avoiding him. So for the second time in five hours, she revealed another part of herself to Sawyer.

"I failed to protect myself and paid a high price for it. I did something about it but I…it didn't help. Then I come here, and again I failed to protect people. And the one time I think I am, it turns out terrible. I have been trying to find a way to feel alive for so long, and nothing I do seems to make it go away." She turned away from him before saying, "I feel cold and I don't know how to make it go away."

Sawyer thought a moment. What could he say? He was sitting on his own guilt. He truly didn't know how to handle his own, yet here he was asking about hers. Though she was vague, he understood her larger point. She thought she screwed up, tried make up for it, and it didn't ease the pain. And then after getting thrown on the island of Dr. Moreau, she still couldn't chase away the demons. They were made worse.

"Look, babe. You said it right in the shower. We all got problems. You need to understand that you ain't the only one crackin' up on this island. I woke up with Freckles leaning over me talking about how I reminded her of some man that disgusts her. I mean, what the hell!

"Bottom line. We all are being chased by demons. We just got to recognize it and accept it. And when the time comes, we even have to deal with them. But until that time, if talking to someone makes ya feel better, well come to me, Xena, and I'll listen."

Ana stared at him suspiciously.

Sawyer put on his signature grin. "As to ya being dead, I can attest to the fact that you're very much alive because I never found a corpse that ran its mouth as much as you do. I don't know, though. I mean, you could be a zombie lady waiting to eat my brains."

Ana laughed then. "I wouldn't waste my energy biting into that hollow head of yours. Besides, if I want brains I would go the doctor before taking to yours air head."

She stood up and stretched her lean body, providing all kinds of interesting fantasies for Sawyer. He drank in her form like a fine wine, memorizing the contours of her body. Sawyer was instantly jealous of Jack for having this woman's attention beyond the friendly capacity. _That bastard has all the luck. Loony or not, Xena is a nice piece of…_

"I told you that you like my body," she said, disrupting Sawyer's thoughts. She turned on her heel and went to the room with the beds, leaving him to deal with the realization that it was not just her body that he liked.

When she got there, she took a deep breath. Telling Sawyer the abridged version of her issues took a lot out of her, but she felt better. In fact, she began to realize that she was letting the past haunt her, because she wasn't ready to let it go. Sawyer was partly right about demons. They were chasing everybody. The trick was in the dealing with them. Keep running or facing them. Ana knew she had to face hers. The first step is admitting that no amount of therapy in the world would make her feel better about losing her baby. Even if she didn't know at the time she was pregnant, her decision was dumb and it cost her. Case closed.

Her eyes stung with tears at the thought, but she pushed them back. She knew there was nothing she could have done to help those taken. And she knew her fear of losing again was partially to blame for Shannon getting shot. Exhaling slowly, she walked over to a bed and sat down. She pulled up a blanket and wrapped herself in it. She forced herself to truly examine her life up that point. By the time it was over, she had shed a couple of tears.

She roughly wiped them away before saying _I am Ana Lucia Cortez. I am a survivor. I will not let this kill me. I am not dead. I live one day at a time. And that's okay._

Sawyer watched her from a distance, hearing the words she didn't realize she had said out loud. With a nod, he turned, leaving her alone.

Sawyer was flipping through an old magazine when Ana walked back into the living room. She noticed that his hair was light and full, not waxy as before. He was still shirtless, but he had taken off the jeans. She saw them laid out on the table that had been cleared of their plates. She took in his tall frame, long legs were lean and muscular, and those boxer briefs were only a thin veil of cover for his private parts. She had a good sense that his balls weren't _so_ scrawny as she said earlier.

Finally, she came completely into the room and sat next to him on the couch. He barely looked up. They just sat there, Ana drawing comfort from his presence.

Sawyer closed the magazine and glanced over at Ana.

"You back together again, Humpty-Dumpty?"

She smirked. "Yeah, I'm back together again. That's for asking, Maury."

"Maury?"

She smiled brighter. "I didn't think you'd like being called Oprah."

"Cheez girl, please. I can't believe women watch that claptrap."

"I don't watch Oprah."

He shook his head. "Well, why not Dr. Phil?"

"First, because Libby is that person, and God, that's too annoying. Second, you haven't the capacity to be a Dr. Phil. Lastly, that would be giving you way too much credit."

"Damn, ain't no pleasing you."

She shrugged. "Seriously. Thanks."

He stared into her eyes. "No problem."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

They had been sitting around waiting for their clothes to dry for thirty minutes. They only had thirty-five minutes before their time was up. Ana had partly dressed in her jeans, as had Sawyer. Currently, she was inspecting the shelves again as Sawyer went through another old magazine.

"Man I tell ya, the eighties were something else."

"You remember the eighties?"

"I remember hating fluorescent colors," he said closing the magazine.

Ana nodded. "Yeah, that was a bit much." Her eyes grew large as she pulled out an album.

"I can't believe this! They got a Rick James album down here!"

Sawyer just gazed at her, unimpressed. The last time he heard Rick James he and a few of his friends were on the same page with Rick about loving Mary Jane. Of course, there was the one time he dated a woman that was stuck in the seventies. She had a lot of cash on her, which helped, but man, the music drove him up a wall.

Ana turned the album over before saying, "Dang! This one has Fire and Desire on it. My friend Tammy's Mama loved that crazy song. I thought it was over the top, but the lyrics were decent. She used to sing that song with her boyfriend like it was a three-act play."

"Okay. That's nice." He stood up and left the room.

Ana didn't pay him any attention. She simply went to the record player and put the song on.

_Wow   
Its really good to see you again, baby   
And I must admit you're looking very, very, very nice these days   
I guess life must be treating you well _As the beginning played, she giggled to herself, remembering her friend's Mom and boyfriend standing in the family room over acting the song. It was easy to do, as the song itself was over down. Teena was shrilling through out and Rick was shouting. Tammy's mama said that's what happens when a person testifies.

_You know, I think back to when we met   
The way I use to be and the cold way I use to act   
But more than that. I think of how you changed me with your love and sensitivity   
Remember when I used to_

Just as Rick started to sing, she heard a deep voice, slightly off-key, come from the other room singing along:

_Love them and leave them _

Sawyer was standing in the doorframe, hand out, waving it at her in an overly dramatic fashion. Ana's mouth fell open.

_That's what I used to do   
Use and abuse them   
Then I laid eyes on you_

He stepped into the room as he sang walking towards her. Ana fell out laughing. She couldn't believe he even knew the song. _It was pain before pleasure _

He threw his head back belting the song out.

_  
That was my claim to fame   
With every measure, baby   
Tasted teardrop stains, yeah_

He was standing right next to her now, singing it in her ear. His breath was like a warm enticing breeze on her neck. _I was cold as ice long ago, baby, baby   
I wasn't very, very, very nice, you know   
Sugar, sugar, sugar _

His lips brushed against her ear.

_Then I kissed your lips_

He stepped back from her, his eyes boring into hers, then a huge grin spread on his face as he watched her flush from the contact. He stood in the middle of the room before throwing open his arms, shouting:

_And you tuned on my fire, baby _

He dropped his arms, walking back over to her, and started singing to her again, standing close to her body, letting his voice drop. Ana stared up into his eyes, watching the mirth in them.

_And you burn me up within your flame   
Took me a little higher   
Made me live again_

He placed his arms on either side of Ana's head, trapping her against the shelf.  
_  
You turned on my fire, baby_   
_Then you showed me what a love could do   
Fire and desire, baby   
Feel it comin' through_

Ana tried to duck under his right arm, but failed to get by. She moved under his left, laughing the whole time.

_And I thank you, baby_

Sawyer backed away, moving closer to the table as Rick began talking again.

"I can't believe you know this song."

"I was with a lady that played it every other day. She loved this song thought it was a true love song."

"Oh." She turned from him. A thought came to mind just as Sawyer sang with Rick.

_You know its funny how a man can change   
So quickly from a cold blooded person   
Thinkin' he's God gift to women   
Remember how I use to do that   
I must have been crazy then   
Remember when you used to_

Ana spun around, hair whipping into her face before falling on either of her face. She pushed her chest forward, arms outstretched, and held her head at an angle eyes closed. There was no way she would hit the note like Teena, but she did mange to make a pretense of being shrilly.

_Love them and leave them_

She dropped her hands and patted on her chest.

_Oh, that's what I used to do_

_Use them and abuse them, whoa   
Then I laid eyes on you_

She looked at him then, head down, looking through her eyelashes. Then walking slowly towards him, she raised a shaking fist.

_It was pain before pleasure_

Again she pointed at herself, stopping before Sawyer.

_Oh, that was my claim to fame   
With every measure _

She used her thumb and forefinger to reflect a small amount.

_  
Tasted your teardrop stains, yeah_

Sawyer joined the song again, pointing at her saying:

_You were cold as ice_

Ana threw back her head to sing:

_(Woo...hoo...hoo...hoo...)_

Then leaning close to his face, pointed at her chest:

_(I-I wasnt, I-I wasnt very nice, I know, woo...)_

Sawyer nodded his head in agreement:

_Sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar_

Again he whispered, this time staring at her lips:

_Then I kissed your lips_

Together, they said the last part, circling each other, but shouting the lyrics.

_And you (You turned on) turned (You turned on) on   
(You turned on my fire) my fire, baby (Ooh...)   
Then you showed me what a love could do (Woo...hoo...)   
Fire and desire (Fire and desire)   
Feelin good to you (Feelin good to you)_

The circle shrunk until they were touching each other. Sawyer was stroking her back as Ana's hand slid down his chest. They held each other's gaze the whole time they sang, an intensity starting to creep into the fun.

_You turned on my fire (Fire, ooh...ooh...), baby (Oh, baby)   
And you burn me up within your flame (You burn me, you burn me)   
Fire and desire (Fire and desire)   
And were both to blame, both to blame (Ooh...ooh...) _

By the time the song ended, they were standing shoulder-to-shoulder, Sawyer facing one way and Ana the other. Both had their heads turned, facing the other, breathing heavy from the silly performance. Their faces were close, Sawyer leaning down and Ana's head tilted. The next song came on, but it might as well not have played because they didn't hear it.

"What's this, cowboy?" Ana whispered.

"What do you want it to be?" he responded.

She was quiet for a moment. "I don't know," she replied honestly.

For once, Sawyer responded in kind. "Me either, Xena."

"Curious?" she said with a smirk.

Sawyer grunted, "Hardly."

"Lie," she said, turning to walk away.

"You wish," he said.

"Maybe…" she started.

Sawyer smirked in victory.

"I wish that you were someone else," she said sarcastically.

His smile fell. Turning, he waved a dismissive hand. He leaned back on the table and crossed his arms, ignoring the biting pain in his shoulder.

Ana burst out laughing, then before walking over to him. Sawyer gave her a stony look.

"What?"

She grabbed his head, pulling him into a fiery kiss. Sawyer uncrossed his arms and he pulled her close. Ana's hands slid into his silky hair as she pressed herself closer to him. Sawyer took all he could, letting his tongue dance with hers, his hands memorizing the exposed skin. She felt good to him as he to her.

She ended the kiss cupping his face and placing one last tender kiss on his lips before backing away.

"Curiosity satisfied?" she asked.

He leaned back while letting that sexy smile play over his lips. They both knew the answer. It could work. If nothing else, there would be passion. The only question was if they wanted to try it.

"How about you?" he asked

"I don't know. The jury is still out," she said with a smile.

The alarm was going off. Eko hurried through the halls more worried about Ana than the buttons. He turned it off and then went to find Ana. What he saw when he found her actually made him smile. _Maybe Ana has found some peace_.

Ana was sitting next to Sawyer on the couch knocked out cold, head resting on his right shoulder. Sawyer was asleep too, his head against the wall. Eko went to the bunks, grabbed a blanket and tossed it on them before taking his partner to another part of the compound to do their service.

6


End file.
